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Deviation Actions

ravenofroses's avatar
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Literature Text

“I’m sorry.”

The words barely register; she’s already slumped against the tree and clutching her elbows with bone-white fingers. Something cracks in her left arm, but the pain won’t come until much, much later. Her breath catches, falters, ceases for longer than she would have believed possible, until her vision dims and she sucks in a rush of air that triggers the tears already threatening the corners of her eyes. She should have expected this, of course.

The moon, obscured by fog, casts little light on the deserted park, and her stomach lurches when she realizes that she won’t even have a clear memory of his face. She fumbles for her lighter, feigning the need for a cigarette, and tries to light one. Her hand shakes and she gives up on the fourth attempt.

“I didn’t mean—It would have been better if you’d stood me up.”

“You know I couldn’t.”

Her voice, hollow but perfectly audible, startles them both. He watches her for awhile, and she cannot tell whether he’s trying to set her image in his mind or just waiting for her to start screaming. When she thinks she might be able to hold herself together, he steps forward and draws her into a hug.

“Don’t die,” she orders him. Even in the dark she knows he’s smiling.

Two years. Probably more. She watches him go, torn between anger and heartbreak, until he turns and offers one final comfort.

“You deserve better than you give yourself. Take care.”

It is only after he has vanished that she allows herself to fall apart.
written for my fiction writing class tonight under the prompt "your worst fear realised." placed under fiction cos, well, this has not happened yet.

i would be interested to know what you think happened in this scene. please, do give me your interpretations.
© 2009 - 2024 ravenofroses
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whimsy657's avatar
I think she's dying...and right before she dies is talking to the person who killed her?

I'm not sure...my brain is all weird right now. It was very good! I liked it a lot, and the fact that it was short made it better.